How I Handle Unexpected Expenses or Seasons of Struggle

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Do you every just feel like you are drowning in expenses? Like, you just got caught up on things and then you blew a tire. Or an appliance broke. Or an unexpected medical bill comes in the mail.

It seems like it is always one step forward and two steps back.

When I posted about this on my Instagram stories yesterday, a lot of people really related to the fact that there just seems to be a lot of expenses right now. In fact, I read a statistic that said 70% of Americans can’t afford a $400 emergency without debt. I am. thankful to be in the 30% that has some wiggle room, but it’s stressful. 

I have been feeling this so hard lately. And the more I felt like this, the more I just wanted to dig my heels in the ground and tell myself I just wasn’t budgeting good enough or that I was doing something wrong. Or that it was somehow my fault for everything.

But it is not my fault. 

I’m just in a season of a lot of unexpected expenses. My furnace needs fixed. My car needs fixed. My dishwasher broke. And I just had my garage door fixed last week. And Christmas is right around the corner.

This season sucks, but I am recognizing that there have been some really good seasons of thriving too. I have had lots of great seasons of crushing my goals and thriving and pride in my money goals. Remembering the good seasons is important not to spiral into the mindset that “it is just always this way.” 

How I handle unexpected expenses or seasons of struggle: 

Disclaimer: This is my to do list for when the thing is not an immediate EMERGENCY. Something that is stressful, and annoying but not life or death if I don’t deal with it immediately. If it is an emergency, skip straight to number 5 and then come back. I am very much a “fix the problem” kind of person, but when I have reached the point of breakdown in my struggles, nothing is going to get fixed immediately. 

1) I had a pity party

Sometimes I think it is our natural reflex to feel guilty for our feelings when things aren’t going well.  We want to just shove it down and ignore how much this season sucks. It is unhealthy to NOT take the time to recognize that this just sucks right now. The goal is not to push away emotions. Or, if we do recognize the season, we get trapped into thinking about how hard it is for too long.

So often I will let myself feel the feelings, and put a limit on the time that I stay in my pity party.  

For this season, it looked like feeling stressed and being upset, but then before bed I let it go and I got a good night of sleep. I decided that I would wake up and tackle it all the next day.

2) Gratitude for the things I do have

Gratitude is often a practice that gets a “toxic positivity” vibe. But for me it pulls me back into reality. It is easy to focus on all of the bad things, but I essentially make myself make a list of all of the good things happening in my life. Open a journal or a note on your phone and just write about the good things that are happening right now. This is a huge mood shift.

For me,  I have a roof over my head. I have so much food in my fridge and freezer. Carter and I are healthy. I have so many friends and family who care for me. I have the physical ability to do a lot of things. There are some super cool things happening in my business right now. There are a lot of really good things in my life.

3) Prayers/ Affirmations / Music

This might look different for everyone, but one of the things that brings me comfort is time for prayer or worship. This might look like Money affirmations or just quiet time if you are religious.  For me, this looks like putting on a worship music playlist and just breathing and relaxing.

This also might be a whole different playlist that gets you out of your funk. I find that sometimes I just need to throw in a little dance party while I am cooking or cleaning to shift my mood about things. I have a “Money Hype” playlist on my phone that gives me a ton of motivation and reminds me why I am doing all of this.

4) Reset

This is a self care reset. My brain and body is not going to function well in fight, flight, or freeze mode and I need to do things that take me out of that mode and into a calm mode. Self Care does not have to mean spending money. It does not have to be expensive. Here is a list of self care ideas that won’t break your bank. 

For me, I often take a hot shower, do some skincare, or a hair mask to reset a little bit. Then, I get a snack. No one is solving problems when they are hangry. Then I pick one area of the house that I can visually reduce the clutter. For me, this is often my kitchen table and living room. I pick up the toys, clean off the table, do the dishes and then my main living area is reset and calming. Then, I try to pick something small off my to do list that gives me a quick win.

5) Action plan

 

Okay. It is time to take a deep breath and ACTUALLY fix the problem now. What is wrong, what can YOU do to fix it. Is there a YouTube video that can tell you what is wrong? Can you Google common issues with that appliance? What does DIY YouTube say?

5b)  Asking for help

There is nothing wrong with asking people to help me and leaning on my community and their skills. I often ask myself if I am calling to complain or am I calling for a solution. There is a time and a place for just venting and complaining, but who can I ask and what can I actually offer to get the problem fixed. We can often make costly decisions in the heat of panic by just calling the first number on Google for the problem.

For this situation, I texted a friend who does HVAC about my furnace. Called another friend about my car. Instead of calling up the experts immediately, I hope to pay my friends for their skills if they have time. 

5c) Asking for recommendations

If you don’t know anyone with that specific skill, I usually turn to Facebook or Instagram to see if people have recommendations to fix that solution. What local companies to use? What companies not to use? You also might find out that a friend has a skill that you need.

6)  Look over my budget

Your budget is going to tell you what you can offer your community for their time and services. Let’s take it back to bartering days for a second. What skills can I offer to trade them? Can I make them dinner in trade for something?

This is a great time to look over where I can cut expenses. If you need to pull from the emergency fund or if you can essentially budget it into the next pay period to make it work. Depending on how immediate the purchase needs to be, this is where I can figure out my options. Sometimes it is the question of, am I going to have to go into debt for this and what is my plan to pay that off?

If you don’t have a budget, that is definitely your first place to start. I have a ​workbook to help you start your budget!​

7) No Spend Days

No Spend days are essentially cutting out all spending that I can.  I have an ​entire 33 page guide of how I do no spend days​, but when an emergency arises, it’s time to dig in and focus on not spending on any “unnecessary extras” for a second. Sometimes I will go through my own guide for ideas, but this often includes focusing on a meal plan I can make from what I already have, filling our schedule with free fun, and using up what I have at home first. 

 

8) How can I increase my income

When I need to cover an expense, the goal is to focus on digging into side hustles. Learning new skills. Being willing to try new things. Here are a few ways that I have made extra money over the my financial journey. 

This time, I signed up for a “freelance bartender” app that I am able to pick up shifts at bars that need some extra staff. I was a bartender for 4 1/2 years, so this is just leaning on my own skills I already have. I am also focusing on the side hustles that I already have to see where I can make some more money. 

9) Remember that THIS is why I am working on my finances

Sometimes these moments of struggle can feel like a sign that I should give up. Why should I even try to better my finances if every single time I have a win, I have an emergency that goes with it. But this is EXACTLY why. Because while I am making progress, I am building better habits, and I am building a future that looks like a fully funded emergency fund.

I am building a life where these unexpected expenses are annoying, not emergencies. That I have savings for this exact reason and that I budgeting. The exact reason I am building my business. The exact reason that I want to better my finances. Because I am building a life where $400-$1000 expenses are annoying. Not stressful. 

I wrote this personal mission statement a few years ago for the moments that I need a reminder of why I am doing what I am doing. My mission statement is to live a STRONG, wealthy, healthy life. So let’s go.