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Let’s be so honest, shopping because we are emotional is the most millennial thing we could do. It is what we were taught was the appropriate coping skill by every 90’s/ 2000’s rom com (And probably some of our mom’s and aunts.)
It was the “retail therapy.” and “shop til you feel better” narratives that are now ingrained in us. But it isn’t just feeling sad, it is also when we are happy we are more likely to throw our money goals out the window.
And, really there is some scientific proof that this works. Shopping and spending money can lead to a dopamine reaction in the reward center of our brain that can be addicting. When dopamine is released, we become “happier.”
HOWEVER, it isn’t a healthy coping mechanism when it is driving you into debt or creating a financial burden on your life. Or even when emotional spending starts preventing you from living your dream life.
I wrote my Stop The Shop guide to go way more in depth about emotional spending, spending triggers, and little things you can do to set yourself up for more money success.
Here is a few tips to prevent emotional shopping:
1) Call it out
The very first thing that I do when I am feeling the desire to emotional shop is to say it out loud. “Ooo. I am wanting to shop because I am emotional and trying to cover it up with shopping.” I have found that saying it out loud has helped me process that I am feeling emotions and also trying to push them away. Calling it what it is can help your brain realize WHY you are wanting to shop instead of just feeling excited about shopping.
2) Let myself feel the emotions
Sometimes this is with music or journaling, but suppressing the emotions rarely works in your favor. You have to figure out what works for you with this. And this is not a substitute for therapy if the situation needs it. For me, this often includes talking out my emotions with friends, loud music, journaling about it and creating a plan for the next steps.
3) Do something that also gives me dopamine
Often times, our brains are looking for other dopamine sources. There are so many studies about dopamine in our brains. I read a study in college that said even seeing someone else smile releases dopamine in our brains. I will often reach for a few of these things in a day. Even just FaceTiming with a friend often boosts my mood!
A few things that give our brains dopamine:
- Exercise
- Social connection / spending time with friends
- Physical connection
- Favorite foods
- Gratitude journaling
- Listening to music
- Completing something on your to do list
- Working on a hobby
4) Identifying your spending triggers
If impulse shopping or emotional shopping is something that you struggle with, my Stop the Shop Guide is 40+ pages of identifying the who, what, where, when, why of impulsive shopping and small things that you can do to help yourself not spend money. The goal of this guide is to help you identify the spending triggers and change them instead of just denying yourself a purchase and creating a restrict- binge cycle.
