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Disclaimer: While I do have my bachelor’s in psychology, I am not a licensed therapist. This is not a replacement for seeking help if you are a candidate for spending addictions and this is not a replacement for diagnosis. This article is purely a combination of research and my own personal experience when talking to people about money for years.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about spending as an addiction, especially after seeing certain content circulating online.
The other day I saw a reel that said “my partner and I had a budget meeting and we decided that it would be best if I passed away.”
WHAT!?
I know I can’t be the only one who feels like this is absolutely WILD response to needing to pay more attention to spending and control the shopping. With my psychology degree, I took several classes focused on neuroscience and addiction, which gave me indirect insight into this issue.
The other two pieces of content that I see SO often is the “Getting a package in the mail every day because of online shopping” — specifically I have seen conversations around the mail guy checking on the person because they didn’t get a package that day.
The other big one is “letting the store tell me what I need.”
Recently (February 28th, 2024), there was a huge conversation on Threads about the Economic Blackout and not spending ANY money on that day as a boycott. But the discourse around it was “But what about..” And “What about this”
And it was just the reminder that a lot of people cannot go ONE day without spending money. I see this often with my No Spend Month Content.
Spending can absolutely be an addiction.
It is hard to think about something that is required to live to be an addiction, but shopping culture has absolutely normalized it. Of course, there is a certain level of conversation
According to this article from Addiction Help and “according to research from the University of Iowa, approximately 5-8% of the worldwide population suffers from compulsive buying disorder, which can lead to a shopping addiction”
However, it is WILDLY under researched and under funded. A lot of research relies on funding, and a lot of companies aren’t going to fund something that impacts people spending money.
Why is spending addictive?
So what makes spending so addictive? To understand that, we need to look at how our brains react to shoppingSpending to the brain is the same as drugs. While we know they are different behaviors- on a chemical level in our brains, they are very similar. They both operate in the dopamine reward pathway of the brain. This means that as our brain anticipates spending, it releases dopamine.
In addition to our brains, marketing culture and sales tactics don’t make this any easier. Marketing tactics are heavily based on psychology research to understand WHY a consumer will spend money. Things like scarcity, influencer culture, and targeted ads increase spending.
Who does it affect?
Unfortunately because it is under researched, this data could be skewed.
Research indicates that young women, particularly those in their late teens and early 20s, are the most affected. However, the article noted that the gender gap may not be as wide as it seems.
With these numbers presented though, I personally can’t help but wonder if how much culture and messaging like “retail therapy” has to do with this. While we can look at the numbers in the research, I don’t think that it accounts for the fact that many women are also the ones largely in charge of shopping for their household.
Symptoms of “Obsessive Buying Disorder”
- Obsessive thoughts around shopping
- Feeling a rush or high from shopping
- Feeling anxious when not shopping
- Hiding or Lying about purchases
- Shopping to cope with negative emotions
- Unable to shop shopping despite consequences (debt/ money problems)
- Feeling shame about spending purchases
- Buying things you didn’t need or didn’t plan for
While this Addiction Help article does distinguish that the difference between overspending and spending addiction is mostly how it consumes the thoughts of the person, I think it is important to point out that the symptoms create a very fine line. “People who are reckless with their money may not experience the compulsion or crave to buy things the way an addict does.”
To be so clear, this is not a replacement for actual diagnosis from a licensed professional. If you do feel like you need to seek help, I do highly encourage you to do so.
Also a frustrating part of this: “The American Psychiatric Association (APA) does not officially recognize shopping addiction as a distinct disorder, and considerable debate surrounds the legitimacy of the disorder.” (source)
Here are my not quite an expert, but educated thoughts:
While I do not want to throw addiction around lightly, I do think that it is unfair how normalized we have made shopping addictions. I do see a lot of similar patterns with how the US treats alcohol addictions as well.
It is normal and cool until it isn’t.
There is an extremely fine line between overspending and addiction just like there is a fine line between drinking a lot and addicted. And really it is up to the person to decide if it is a spending problem or an addiction problem. According to the research, about 6-8% of people are diagnosed with addiction.
But this isn’t just a personal thing, it is a cultural and societal. The pressure we put on each other to spend money even when we try to hold the “this isn’t in my budget” boundary makes it so hard. Often times, when we do decided to try to be better with money, it is the pressure from the outside that makes it so incredibly hard to stick to it.
I have said before “We aren’t bad at budgeting, we are bad at boundaries.” As individuals, we often lack the skills to set and hold boundaries when it comes to close friends and family about money. But it isn’t just our close friends, it is every where we turn.
Social media has changed marketing completely.
While I love social media and talking about money and budgeting on the internet, shopping culture has gotten out of hand. I share things I love on the internet, I love being able to have conversations with my audience about things we love.
Marketing uses emotions to get us to spend money. Women are often marketed to with clothes, beauty, looking younger, etc. Some ads are using emotion like shame or guilt on moms to make them feel like if they don’t purchase THIS thing for their kid, they will never forget them or they will never develop properly. I could honestly go on and on about the mom marketing culture especially on pregnancy things and newborn items and all of the MUST HAVE YOU NEED THIS items that get used for such a short time because they are only newborns for the blink of an eye.
However, I also don’t think males are exempt from the marketing, but it is presented differently. Men are much more likely to be marketed to with gadgets and hobbies. A lot more male marketing is focused on trucks, and things like boats and campers that are “fun for the whole family. The patriarchy and male toxic masculinity has really played into the “we know you work a lot but wouldn’t it be great if you could spend your time with your family.” This really expensive thing is always marketed as a family fun, everyone smiling purchase.
But what can we do?
Some of this blog post feels very doom and gloom. The good news is that while marketing and societal pressure play a big role, there are steps we can take to regain control over our spending habits. Many people do not experience the full symptoms of addiction and do have more of a manageable symptoms of this.
Here are a few things you can do if you are NOT experiencing full addiction, but do relate with some of these symptoms.
- Recognize when you are searching for dopamine from spending and do something else. Connect with friends or workout.
- Be aware of marketing tactics that mess with your emotional regulation.
- Learning emotional regulation tools to keep you from reaching for your card every time you have a bad day.
- Get curious about WHY we shop and pay attention to our patterns.
- Build habits and systems that help set future us up for success around not spending.
I teach about all of these things in my How to Actually Stick to Your Budget Course. This course is the combination between psychology and budgeting that leans into why we feel like spending is addicting and how we can grow our skills to better manage our impulse spending on things.
In my How to Actually Stick to Your Budget course, I teach simple and practical strategies to break free from impulse spending by combining psychology and budgeting techniques. You’ll learn how to identify marketing and spending triggers, set financial boundaries, and build habits and systems that align with your goals (that I help you set).
